“Every time I do everything right, everything goes wrong!” Hakeem whines. He tells her to get the hell out of the house and doesn’t even back down when she slaps him twice.Jamal opens a brotherly bonding session beautifully, telling Hakeem: “You smell like stripper a–.” Hakeem tells Jamal and Andre that Laura broke off the engagement, but Jamal asks if she actually said “it’s over” or if maybe there’s still a chance to work things out. Then she tries to mend things with Jamal like she wasn’t trying to take over the company from him. With Frank dead, Cookie tells everyone they can go back home. He orders them to kill Frank, but not before telling him that he’s going to sign his daughter to Empire and then bone her. Frank tells his minions to kill Lucious, but they don’t because they turned on him and are working for Lucious now! Even in prison, L Squared is a boss. She then hightails it to Lucious and asks him to stop being trifling for five minutes and take care of Frank. Instead of bleaching her skin Michael Jackson style and moving to the mountain where Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal boned, Cookie stays in town and has all her kids as well as Andre’s wife, Rhonda, hide out at Lucious’s mansion. And as evidenced by Mimi Whiteman (perfectly played by Marisa Tomei) arriving on the scene and eye-fucking Cookie within two minutes of meeting her, I’m going to say that Empire is about as high as Elton John was when he wrote “Bennie and the Jets.” But let’s start at the beginning.Ĭookie arrives home to find a package outside her door, and of course it’s a warning: inside the box is Jermel’s head. In short, Empire is FUN, and in an age when everyone is trying to impress each other with Important TV (see: True Detective), its nice to watch a show like Empire that just wants to be a “blast in a glass,” as esteemed Nobel Peace Prize laureate and former Jersey Shore cast mate Deena Nicole Cortese once said.Ĭlearly, there was plenty riding on the Season 2 premiere as it aims to avoid the curse of the sophomore slump. Alliances that change more than my opinions on whether or not Gordon Ramsay is hot (I mean, he’s way too old for me but when he starts yelling at me, I’m like, “Oh, lemme ‘accidentally’ knock over this bottle of nutmeg and see if that will make him mad enough to have his way with me.”) Terrence Howard’s wavy hair and Hugh Hefner scarf combo. Henson’s Emmy-nominated acting and catchphrases (Boo Boo Kitty, anyone?). Before last night’s season premiere, just the mere mention of Empire would make people as hyped as a kid who just downed a carton of Pixy Stix.
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